Review: Cry-Baby

What can be said about Cry-Baby? It's kinda like diet orange soda that's gone flat - it's calorie-free yet sickly-sweet, and seriously lacking in bubbly zip. Plus the songs, well, suck and it's not funny, but that doesn't have anything to do with orange soda. It's just a sad fact: Cry-Baby is a D+ version of Hairspray.

The good: Rob Ashford's choreography is sexy and fun, and Harriet Harris is kicking ass, getting laughs out of lines that should never get laughs. The costumes are kinda fun. The cast is talented - I know because I've seen them in other, more interesting shows. And that's about it for the good.

The list of the bad is, unfortunately, much much longer. Let's see, there's the utterly unfunny book, complemented by the unremarkable, unhummable songs. One theatergoer remarked, "It sounds like somebody heard a few old radio jingles from the 50's and thought, Hey! I can make a musical out of that!" Okay my date said that. But he was right! One song is actually called, "Baby Baby Baby Baby Baby (Baby Baby)." You might guess that the show is poking fun at the style and idealism of the era, but the songs, script, and direction aren't inventive or witty enough to demonstrate whether the creators are in on the joke, or if they're just doing a poor Grease imitation. And though the cast is a talented group, the characters aren't winning or charming enough to make you care. There's no Tracy and Edna Turnblad here, nor any of the other larger-than-life Hairspray crew - this show has stock characters, too, but the lifeless story (and book) leaves them two-dimensional. The actors are working their tails off, but the spark just isn't there.

I had been so looking forward to Cry-Baby. Reports of it being deliciously bad, so bad it could rival In My Life, had me all excited for gloriously terrible musical theater. Sadly, I can't even recommend that you see it to revel in it's awfulness. It's not good-bad, it's just... bad.

Les Liasons Dangereuses et Sexy

Maybe I was wrong. She looks really good! Maybe Laura Linney will be great as the dastardly Marquise de Merteuil. More photos here. Eeek... Mamie Gummer looks awful!

Becky Shaw is on her way to Second Stage

Up there in that photo is Mia Barron and David Wilson Barnes, in Gina Gionfriddo's bleak, hilarious, delightful yet scary play Becky Shaw at The Humana Festival. Note: the photo above might look awash in beige, but the play is full of juicy naughty human misbehavior and messiness. Annie Parisse, in the eponymous role, makes a grand entrance in a bright chartreuse, satin, too-short bubble dress. 'Nuff said.

I was in attendance for the festival, along with the literary managers from every major theater company in the country, and left Becky Shaw exclaiming two things: "David Wilson Barnes is a star! WHY is he not famous yet?!?" and "Mark my words: This play is totally going to be at Second Stage next season."

Then the Times review came out and Charles Isherwood was all "David Wilson Barnes is a star!" and I was like, uh, what did I say? Side note: Chuck himself was on my flight to Louisville for the festival, and while is he a very good dresser, he positively radiates snobbishness. We happened to be on the same shuttle to the hotel, and someone was chatting him up about Louisville's many cultural offerings. Here's how the conversation went:

Guy on Shuttle: I hear they have many fine museums here in Louisville.
Isherwood: Mmm, yes.
Guy on Shuttle: In fact, the Museum of Bourbon is supposed to be quite interesting.
Isherwood: My apartment is a museum of bourbon. Ba-dum-bum.

Yup, that's right, he even did the little ba-dum-bum part! It would have been cute, if he didn't look like he was about to burn through someones skull with his eyes.

So now Second Stage announced its season, and again, who called it? Moxie.

Hell Hath No Fury, Indeed

If the name Tricia Walsh Smith doesn't ring a bell, you might recall this incident that Page Six wrote about the cancellation of a benefit reading of her play "Addictions" due to a little mishap involving using a liquor company as the major sponsor of a play about substance abuse.

It looks like Smith might be headed back to the gossip pages - she's posted a six-minute youtube diatribe against her philandering husband, entitled "One More Crazy Day in the Life of a Phoenix Rising from the Ashes". Oh, and her husband happens to be Phil Smith, the president of the Schubert Organization. In a cozy kitchen setting, Tricia tells the camera all about the family's legal drama, and the prenuptial agreement that is now allowing her husband to evict her from her New York apartment, "for no reason." If that's not enough, she wants everyone to know about Phil Smith's stash of viagra, porn, and condoms. Eeeeewww.

The video is here, watch it in all it's horrifying glory before they take it down. Fast forward to the end to hear Tricia sing a little "Maybe This Time." I love this woman!

Can I get a "hell yes!"

Hell yes, Damn Yankees is coming to town! Encores Summer Stars (which brought us the current revival of Gypsy) will stage the musical July 5-27 at City Center, starring Jane Krakowski and Sean Hayes!!! I am going to celebrate with a staging of "Whatever Lola Wants" in my office.

"I'm going to find it and I'm going to destroy it. I don't know how yet. Possibly with dynamite."

Moxie's birthday is coming up, and if anyone wants to send me these Steve Zissou legos, I would be very appreciative.

They even have an Alistair Hennessey one!

"Is this my espresso machine? Wh-what is-h-how did you get my espresso machine?"
"Well... uh... we fuckin' stole it, man."

Review: The Drunken City

In the opening moments of The Drunken City, three brides-to-be march out from house left, giggle to each other, and then, screaming gleefully, thrust their three sparkling engagement rings forward for all the audience to see. The rest of the play, like this opening moment, is both refreshingly joyful and maybe just a teensy bit annoying.

The story: Three gals from the suburbs head into the city to drink pink martinis and celebrate one's impending marriage. What glorious bridge-and-tunnel fun! Until the gals get way too drunk, some too-drunk men enter the picture, and suddenly the bride-to-be is making out with a black dude...

--- wait a second. I didn't mean to say "a black dude." I should have said "a stranger," or "a ridiculously hot stranger," since Mike Colter plays said dude. His race is so totally not the point, but my theatergoing instinct says that if the actor is black, it must be because his blackness is integral to the plot. And hey, let's be honest, my own innate racism is playing a role here, too. (What do you find yourself expecting when a non-caucasian actor walks onstage? Discuss.) But hey, white people aren't always talking about what it's like to be white, and I don't think everybody else is constantly talking about the color of their skin. So how fucking awesome is it that this is a play about love and relationships and New York City, and some of the people are white and some are not? I mean, thank god. In fact, as with many of Adam Bock's plays, The Drunken City uses a truly color-blind cast, featuring actors who are asian, hispanic, and african-american without their casting being due to a necessity in the script. To see this group of friends onstage who happen to be different ethnicities is refreshing to say the least, and reflects both the world I know and the world I hope to see. Enormous kudos to Adam Bock and to Playwrights Horizons awesome casting department for this. Anyway.

... When the bride-to-be heads off to god knows where with her hot, drunk man off the street, everyone (understandably) freaks. Through the fish-eye lens of their inebriation, we see that each character is a whole lotta lost, and pretty messy sober or not. The message is ultimately sweetly romantic and hopeful, and maybe secretly what all New Yorkers need to hear: everybody is secretly terrified, it's less scary when you get honest, and it's yes, you will find love. It's a little too sweet at times, and the running theme of utter intoxication wears thin after the first 45 minutes or so. But ultimately, it really is a delightful play.

Now here's the bad news. And I felt a lot worse about saying it before she got really good reviews, so maybe I just didn't get it, but... I did NOT go for Cassie Beck in the lead role. I just wasn't feeling it. I didn't believe her, I felt like she was acting and trying and full of effort and awkwardness and just. not. good. It pulled me right out of the play many times, and was just not an enjoyable performance, for me.

BUT! The rest of the cast is terrific, especially Sue Jean Kim, who is one of the *best* actresses you've probably never heard of. The girl is funny, smart, beautiful, and ought to be working constantly. And Alfredo Narciso is a revelation (at least to me), and gives a hilarious and moving performance that will blow you away. See this play for them, they are the bomb.

By the way, Playwrights Horizons has a ton of cool materials online. You can watch scenes from the play, hear a podcast from Adam Bock about drunkeness, and more. It's fun, check it out.