Brantley's Birdie Smackdown

The highly-anticipated revival of Bye Bye Birdie opened last night, and call me crazy, but I don't think Ben Brantley liked it very much!

If you get a chance, send a few dozen get-well cards to Henry Miller’s Theater... Flu season has arrived, and an especially mean virus appears to have attacked the cast of the revival of “Bye Bye Birdie,” which opened Thursday night. I don’t think it’s the swine flu that has flattened Robert Longbottom’s production...

The symptoms in this case include tin ear, loss of comic timing, uncontrollable jitters and a prickly disorientation that screams, “Where am I?” and “What am I doing?” Theatergoers may feel an empathetic urge to rush home and bury their heads in their pillows.

Ouch! He goes on with a systematic take-down of the Roundabout's starry revival. The cast is a "painful example of misapplied talent". The director has "lost his sense of direction". The concept evokes "an old Old Navy or Nick at Nite ad" and not in the good way. Oh and John Stamos and Gina Gershon "tend to slide distractingly off key — not violently, but just enough to make you want to hit your ear." It goes on.

Aside from the comic effect of Brantley's purple prose, I have to confess a deep, sick appreciation for the big sloppy failures of star-fucked Broadway shows. When will they learn? These people cannot sing! And are not stageworthy! Do Stamos and Gershon really make such a difference in ticket sales that it's worth having a giant creative failure? I suspect not.